The Number of the Beast on the Bike of Doom!!!

by Steve ~ May 12th, 2007. Filed under: Riding the Bike.

Strangely enough or, perhaps, expectedly, the Bike of Doom has met up with The Number of The Beast. In Kilometers, that is:

666

Yes, my commuting bike is Satan’s spawn. Of that, there can be no doubt. Its seat is like the three pronged tip of some hellish pitchfork, my ass the soul of the damned, tormented endlessly. Alas, I should have known, simply by the faint print (obviously written in blood) at the bottom of the Canadian Tire Receipt:

“Abandon hope all ye who enter here.“

I should have also looked at the front ring set more closely before I purchased the bike. I had thought I was having bottom bracket problems, but no. Not even close. The rings are labeled, in tiny, inscribed letters, from small ring to large: paradiso, purgatorio, and finally inferno. The bottom bracket noise started with my regular use of the big ring. It’s not damaged bearings I’m hearing. It’s the screams of the damned!

I am considering a name change for the Bike of Doom. Dante’s Revenge. Or perhaps Satan’s Minibus.

Or not.

The bike rolls on. Nothing new to report… obviously.

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