The Bike of Doom

One common argument directed at the Department Store Bike (DSB) is that riding one will deflate a nascent interest in cycling, permanently relegating the unfortunate owner to the ranks of the sofa-bound. The argument is invariably tied to the perceived poor quality of the bike: heavy, badly put together, inferior quality components, likely a deathtrap on two wheels. While I generally agree with the bike world’s assessment of DSBs as inferior to their Local Bike Shop cousins, I have never quite understood this particular thrust of the argument.

Often, the cyclist making this point will conclude with something like “I’m surprised riding my piece-o-junk (enter brand here) bike didn’t keep me off the bike forever.” But in fact, he wasn’t kept off the bike forever. Somewhere along the line he upgraded to a better bike. What the DSB actually did, was to focus his attention on the kind of bike he really needed for the kind of cycling he wanted to do. Without his initial foray into BSD land, he might have wasted hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on a bike that still didn’t measure up. Better to have spent $129 on a BSD and upgraded than to have spent $500 and feel that even Local Bike Shops can’t deliver.

Typically, this aspect of the anti DSB argument evolves into a lament for the state of cycling as a whole, with the suggestion that DSBs are somehow diminishing it by turning vast seas of potential cyclists away from our favorite activity by virtue simply of a) their poor quality and b) for having been put together by inexperienced hands. This seems a bit harsh to me, particularly when the solution to this perceived problem is in the hands of the people making the argument. If the experience of riding a DSB is as poor as they say, then this experience will only be compounded when the neophyte cyclist attempts to get help from an experienced cyclist or Local Bike Shop only to have his inexperience thrown back in his face, and possibly his self and his bike run out of the store without the assistance they both require.

Imagine, instead, providing helpful advice on adjustments and maintenance, perhaps even making those adjustments to the unfortunate BSD. What would be the result? A happy cyclists with a good opinion of cyclists and Local Bike Shops in general, and more than likely a future customer. Because guess what? You’re right, that DSB is not going to last forever under normal cycling conditions, and that cyclist, if he sticks with it, is going to be looking for a better bike sooner than later.

Finally, I just want to talk about the idea in general that a poor experience on a DSB could turn a newcomer away from cycling. The fact is, a difficult entry point to anything worth doing is the standard operating procedure of the world. Sometimes it’s done intentionally. For example, medical school. You need a mechanism in place to somehow weed out the people who aren’t really committed, who haven’t thought things through. Even your average, everyday Bachelor’s Degree is like this. Does anybody remember the first year of university? Why should cycling be any different?

I believe that if a newcomer can be turned away from cycling by riding a poor quality bike, he isn’t cut out for cycling in the first place. Pruning him from the sport now, before he’s invested a lot of money on bikes and other equipment that will languish in his garage, is doing both him and the world of cycling a favor. To the person for whom cycling will become a lifelong passion, riding a DSB will be nothing but a pleasant memory before long; the DSB will have been but one step on the path toward owning the road on two wheels.

Lest I leave the wrong idea: 1) my interest in cycling was not killed by my bike, and b) the guy in the picture is not me, though he does seem to have lost something. To the contrary, I’ve enjoyed every bike I’ve owned, DSB or otherwise. I also want to mention that I’ve had 85% good experiences at Local Bike Shops. I’ve purchased seven bikes at various Local Bike Shops through the years, five in the last four years alone as members of my family took up cycling.

And, no, I haven’t been back to the place that didn’t treat me well.

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